


Smoochin' in Drag

by Spideryspade



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Basically lupin and zeni get married bc theyre drunk off their balls, Jigen and goemon are having a blast tho, M/M, OH YEAH ALSO MISS MARY TAKES APPERANCE IN FUTURE CHAPTERS, Written on a phone so pls Spare Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-09-05 18:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16816453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spideryspade/pseuds/Spideryspade
Summary: Lupin awakes, after a night of patrying, only to find a strange ring on his finger and a furious Pops at his doorstep as the universe apparently hates him.





	1. Chapter 1

Lupin awoke with sun creeping in through blinds and onto his face. He yawned, it couldn't be later than 9, he thought, and got up, nonchalantly stretching and scratching his butt. He walked over to the wardrobe, not noticing his shoes and hooking against them. He lost his balance, but had not fallen onto his face, thanks to the headrest his bed possessed. He sighed with relief, quickly obtaining a proper, confident pose.

One thing he noticed upon properly waking up, however, was how unusually well rested he felt. Sure, he didn't have a bad sleeping schedule, but he hasn't felt that well rested in ages. 

And especially not after drinking so hard that he couldn't remember what happened last night.

Lupin swung the kitchen door open, his only clothing still being a pair of boxers. "Man, the night I had!" He declared, sitting next to Jigen at the table. The gunman was currently playing with the barrel of his gun, but Lupin could've sworn Jigen was eyeing him from under the brim of his hat. Goemon, on the other hand, was silently meditating, his sword cradled by the crook of his arm. "I don't even remember a thing!" Lupin laughed, resting his ankle on his knee, arm displayed behind the backrest. 

Jigen snickered, putting the gun's barrel back into its original place. "Well, if it isn't the bride." Goemon fluttered open one eye, curious of the conversation, or moreso, Lupin's reaction to the outcome.

"Huh?" Lupin raised a brow at his friend, his mouth turning into an 'o' shape.

"Look for yourself." With that, Jigen threw a newspaper, which was previously hidden away at the opposite chair, at him.

Lupin read the cover, nothing particular so far. Some car accident info, job wanted section at page 11, celebrity gossip - Inspector Zenigata getting married. The usual. Wait, what was the last thing?

Lupin jumped up, his elbow nearly hitting Jigen's nose. "Pops got married?! Wait, why is this in the newspaper?"

Jigen reached out and flipped the newspaper to the correct page. He sat back and put his legs on the table. "Read the last paragraph." 

"Inspector Zenigata's beloved is none other than- Mi-Miss Marie?! The couple was seen entering Las Vegas's Church at 10 p.m. yesterday." Lupin's arms flopped to his side, the newspaper still in his hand. He couldn't believe what he just read. His wedding was supposed to be a- a big thing! With cuties in skimpy outfits and lots of alcohol and definitely not with Zenigata in Vegas. 

Well, ok. The alcohol thing was fulfilled at least.

"Congrats, I wish you a lifetime of happiness and all that jazz." Jigen smirked, looking at his newlywed friend.

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick." Lupin rubbed his temples. He needed a cigarette. Maybe a few. He just now noticed the ring on his finger and felt a migraine rise up under his skull.

"Lupin!" The cop yelled out causing Lupin to, jump up from his seat, not really wanting to hear the older man's voice right now. Although it was distant, the reason for this being Pops yelling for the man at 2nd floor from the ground floor, because he just can't bother making coherent thought and just come up like a civilized human being, it still gave Lupin a headache.

"It seems the groom has arrived." Goemon commented.

"Tell him I'm not home. I've died for real this time." Lupin melted into the chair, his exhaustion visible on his face. And here he thought he'd have a nice day.

But Zenigata didn't give up and still yelled out to the thief. "Lupin, you bastard! I am coming up!" 

Lupin growled and walked up to the window. "That's not how you should call your husband!" Damn, was he getting too into this? Already? 

"Why, you little-" 

"Just come up, I promise Jigen and Goemon won't attack." He motioned to him to come inside. 

"Tcht, using us like guard dogs." Jigen complained, crossing his arms at his chest.

"I'm leaving." Goemon said, already at the door.

"Yeah, me too. Let's give the two lovebirds some alone time."

"Lupin." Zenigata wheezed, finally reaching the room. He must've taken the stairs, seeing how exhausted he was. 

"Yes, you've yelled my name three times already. What do you want, Pops?" Lupin asked nonchalantly, sitting in the chair nicely propped up, his legs up on the table.

"What I want?! I should be asking this! What do you expect to gain by this-" Zenigata started, but Lupin quickly put an end to this by raising his hand up to the man.

"Pops Zenigata, I'm going to stop you right there. I don't plan anything. At least with you and me- Look, I wasn't in my right mind and neither were you it seems." Lupin explained and accused. "Hey, want coffee?" He asked upon getting up.

"Black, please." Zenigata accepted his offer, but still eyed the thief who walked towards the counter and pulled out a seemingly ancient coffee maker. Next, he got 2 mugs with a print Zenigata couldn't make out. "Why were you crossdressing, anyway?" The cop asked, having finally sat down. Lupin turned around, after hearing the machinery do its magic, and leaned on the counter, smiling at Zenigata.

"I have to admit, it's fun. And you know me, I'm all about fun."

"Hmph." Zenigata grunted, not really buying Lupin's answer. After so many years chasing Lupin around the world, he's learned to be paranoid about every word the thief's mouth spew out. 

Lupin on the other hand thought nothing of it and almost always wore his heart on his sleeve. Maybe except the times he was in a disguise. That's not really sincere, he thought. An awkward silence fell between the two.

But it was quickly broken by a soft 'ding!' made by the coffee maker. Lupin poured the coffee, some getting on his hand, causing him to nearly put an entire hand into his mouth. He handed Zenigata his cup and placed his own on the opposite side. "Thank you." Zenigata nodded and Lupin replicated the gesture.

"Look, it's just Vegas atmosphere. Tons of people get hooked up thanks to Elvis Presley's impersonator. We are no different" Lupin said before sipping his coffe with one hand and holding the newspaper with another. Because of all that ruckus he hadn't managed to read it properly.

And it seemed he wouldn't, because Zenigata lowered the newspaper causing Lupin to focus on him. "We are on the opposite-"

"-Sides of the law, blah blah, I know." The thief rolled his eyes. "So, Kouichi." He smiled, trying his best to look adorable.

"Don't- don't say my name like this!"

"Hey, technically we are both Zenigatas now. Or did you take my name? Kouichi Lupin sounds kinda cute." He smiled more from the ridiculousness than anything.

"If anything that's Marie Zenigata. Did you ever came up with a backstory for her?" Zenigata asked after crossing his legs.

"Not really. She's one of those rich folks, I either introduce her as a daughter of some lord or as an ex-wife of that guy, what was his name? Onabes?"

The inspector looked dumbfounded at the thief. "You were married before."

"Same goes to you, water under the bridge." Lupin shrugged, making circling motions with his cup before downing it.

"Speaking of past marriages, my uh, my ex-wife and my daughter are flying from Japan to meet you."

The thief nearly choked on his drink. "What? Why would they do that?"

"They didn't think I'd meet a woman since I devoted my life to you." Zenigata admited embarrassed.

"Well, they're right." Lupin giggled when he heard Zenigata mumble something under his breath, most likely something that rhymed with 'dastard' "Do you want me to play the fussy bitch or the good housewife?" He asked, still smiling.

"Wait, you will help me?" Zenigata was, once again, flabbergasted. Lupin did absolutely not think that he looked kind of... adorable, like this. 

"Well, yeah. I don't like to admit it, but you saved my ass a ton of times, Pops. Feels right to do the same" Lupin gave him a warm smile, a genuine and kind-hearted one.

And he almost regretted it when Zenigata started to cry literal waterfalls. "Lupin..." The cop said, getting up from the table and hugging the thief.

"Hey, there's no need to cry! C'mon, you're getting everything wet..." he patted the inspector's back, frowning at the awkward position they were in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as funny unfortunately UmU

"You agreed to what now?!" Jigen yelled out, his crooked cigarette nearly falling out of his mouth.

Right after Lupin agreed to help out the old man, he's remembered about the heist they had planned for the same day. 

After several months of maintance, one of the richest casinos in Vegas was having a grand re-opening. The owner, seeing it as an opportunity to obtain even more money, decided to celebrate it with a party. Only the richest folks are allowed on that party, as they can play the longest. Upon hearing it, Lupin had nearly sang about the amount they could get. His partners weren't as enthusiastical. At first Jigen and Goemon guessed Fujiko would just steal the money from them, but so far she hadn't left any message, except for the occasional postcard from the West Coast. 

"It's just one night, guys. You can handle being alone for few hours." Lupin said, taking the cigarette from the gunman and blowing a smoke ring. He tried acting cool and collected, but inside he was a jumbled mess of thoughts. 

"Have you forgotten we were supposed to rob the local casino?" Goemon asked. He leaned against the stone wall, not even opening his eyes to look at the thief. 

Lupin felt as if the street lamp has somehow made him transparent. Everyone was able to see just how alien he felt, the ring blinding him whenever he gestured did not help his situation.

"Listen, I will figure something out." He breathed out the smoke that had still lingered in his lungs and gave the cigarette back to Jigen.

"What about the woman?" Goemon asked.

"Fujiko? She's..." Lupin stopped, looking at a river flowing beside them, knitting his brows. She was munching off some guy, so as long as her sponsor had money, she wouldn't bother the thief. He locked eyes with Goemon and continued. "...she hadn't contacted me for this job."

"Yeah, but does she know?" It was Jigen's turn to ask questions. 

Lupin let out a sound of confusion as Jigen fake-coughed and pointed at his middle finger. Lupin looked at his hand and saw a simple, golden ring, glistening charmingly in the street light. "No, I haven't talked with her since she left."

Jigen smoked out the rest of the cigarette and dropped the mouthpiece to the ground before stomping on it. "If it all goes well we can count on full amount." Goemon said before nodding to both men and moving onto a footpath near a bridge.

"Alright, let's get ready. Same goes to you, Lupin. Makeup takes a ton of time to put on." Jigen pat the younger man on the shoulder before following samurai's footsteps

"Man." Lupin said, pulling out his own smoke. He fondled the bottom of his pockets before finding a lighter and few cents. He stared at the golden coins furrowing his brows. Should he buy something for Zenigata's family? They came all this way just to meet him. Sure it's only around 6 hours of flight, but traveling usually takes its toll on people not used to it. He put the money back into his pocket. He'd think of it later. Now he just wanted to light his cigarette.

Unfortunately for him, the lighter seemed to have run out of gas as it would only let out an occasional spark. Lupin sighed and hid his cigarette back into the breast pocket. "Next night will be a disaster."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW FUJIKO JOINS THE FUN YEHAW!!  
> also ik i wasnt suppossed to post it this fast but i had so much fun writing this chapter,,, next ones will def take longer tho,

"Lupin, now what the hell do you think you're doing?" Fujiko stormed into the room, swinging open the door and nearly knocking a cup off a counter. At the sound of her, insanely pissed, voice Lupin nearly plucked out his eye with the mascara wand he was holding. His hand was now not only trembling from maximum precision and dedication to his makeup, but also from the view of an almost boiling assassin in his room.

"Fujicakes! Weren't you supposed to be in California?" He asked, shifting so he could face her properly, only one side of his face having mascara on it.. He's already done foundation and eyelids and all he had left were lips and the other eye. He had no idea exactly how long he’s been doing all of that, but he’s started at noon and the sun was already setting now. 

Although Jigen and Goemon had bothered him with their jokes from time to time, so that also might’ve caused the time to slip faster. 

"I was, until I heard about your big day! How dare you not even invite me to your wedding! Bastard!" Fujiko slapped him, causing him to slip back into reality. She examined her hand, frowning at the oily substance left on her hand. 

She looked over Lupin’s shoulder and lifted one of the mascaras up towards the window, hoping for better lighting, only to have it grabbed by Lupin. He was careful not to spill out the substance.

"Fujiko! Would you stop? I'm trying to put it on!" Fujiko noticed black spots on his hand and cheek. Live and learn, she thought. She looked at Lupin careful, but a bit uncoordinated movements as he applied the black liquid. He look over his shoulder and smiled sheepishly at the woman.

"Hmph. Whatever." She huffed before sitting on the bed. One that wasn’t even in her top 100 most comfortable places to sit. She didn’t let displeasure show on her face however, as she kept glaring at the thief.

She raised a brow. He’s never prepped up so much, the hell happened to him? There’s no way it was just for Zenigata. She still couldn’t swallow down the thought of Lupin getting married with none other than the cop. She was informed during browsing the internet. She clenched her jaw, thinking of how Lupin didn’t even bother to give her a call. Without even a proper goodbye to her friend, she flew all the way to Nevada. She didn’t have to search for Lupin long, he was staying in his usual hideout in this state - an abandoned mansion at the outsides of the town.

She clearly saw how Lupin would occasionally look at her from the mirror, but she didn't say anything. She wasn't planning to give him the satisfaction of hearing her voice, or she at least she planned not to, until she saw Lupin stand up.

She scoffed at the terrible boots he's chosen. They were made out of puke green suede, small flower ornaments covering the sides. Oh god, they had both a zipper and shoelaces? She shook her head and looked up at the pleased thief’s face. "Are you going to do the heist in high heels today?"

"They compliment my legs, don't you think, Fujicakes?" He laughed, posing for the woman. She on the other hand got up and walked up the wardrobe and swung the old, creaky doors open. Maybe she could help that bastard. Sure, he didn’t deserve her help, but she was feeling generous. If this didn’t count as a good deed, she didn’t know what did.

She didn't see much potential in Lupin’s wardrobe, especially since it was mostly jackets in his trademark colors. She smiled fondly at the sight, but went on for her search for any better clothing.

She found an unopened box covered in dust. It didn’t seem like anything special, just a brown cardboard. Fujiko raised a brow and turned around to ask Lupin about them, only to see him pick up a yellow tent dress. Fujiko frowned. She had to work and work fast if she wanted to save him.

She put the box on bed and looked for a dress. She smirked when she noticed something glistening between the jackets, most likely glitter or sequins. Unreeling the hangers she saw a cerulean satin dress. As she guessed correctly, it was covered in sequins, at least they wouldn’t cover everything like glitter tended to do. She glanced over at the top. Thestraps might be a bit tight on Lupin, but thanks to the dress having bare shoulders, he could adjust the height if anything. The bottom of the dress was shorter on the front, the back creating a nice, wavy tail. If anything, she knew who to take it from. She placed it next to the box and turned around to Lupin. "Put on blue, it compliments your hair more."

"Oh?" Lupin raised a brow at the dress, genuinely surprised by Fujiko's help.

"I'm still mad at you, but you were about to put on a neon yellow dress and I cannot let you do such crimes." She smiled. 

"It fits my jacket" He fake-pouted and walked up to the table. He reached for something in the furniture’s only drawer, something that soon turned out to be a silver jewelry box. He pulled out tiny black rose earrings and placed them next to his ears, looking at his reflection with raised brows. "Do you think those earrings would look nice, Fujiko?"

"Absolutely not." She exclaimed and looked into the box herself. Similar situation to that in the wardrobe. Drought of anything seemingly elegant. She pulled out a pair of golden dangling hoops. "Here." She helped him put them on. 

"Oh, Fujiko-" Fujiko heard Lupin's voice, not really paying attention to where the thief was looking. As it soon turned out, he was drooling at the sight of her breast.

"Stop it, you have a husband." She distanced herself, crossing her arms at her chest.

Lupin scratched his ears, earrings being an alien weight on him. "Don't I know it. Are you planning on visiting the museum, by the way?" He turned around to her, his face speaking pure business. Something Fujiko didn’t see that often.

She smiled. "My client is obsessed about those paintings and he guarantees me high stakes for even one painting." She declared and got her purse from the bed. She walked up to him, raising her brow at the thief, curious of his response.

"But it's the collection that is worth the most." Lupin exclaimed, knitting his eyebrows together.

"Exactly." She kissed him goodbye on cheek. "Guess we'll see who's the best thief, Lupin."

"Putting me in such position. Fujiko, you are the devil incarnate!" He threw his fist into the air as Fujiko walked towards the door. She knew he wasn’t actually serious and smiled at him.

"Don't forget about shoes!" She said before closing the door after her. Lupin sighed and picked up the box from the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yee baby,   
> again a shorter chapter, since i jumped right into it, instead of making a sketch of it, like a goddamn dumbass dlsfns

The phone at the station rung, startling Zenigata who was just in the middle of writing a report. His chief forced him to do so after he’s drank the station out of coffee. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t get good night sleep. It wasn’t his fault his mind raced, unable to stick on any particular subject. Well, except for one, indubitably. The phone gave out yet another ring.  
Zenigata frowned at the screen of his vociferously buzzing computer and reached for the phone. 

“Zenigata.” He started, his fingers finding their place at the bridge of his nose.

“Sir, two women have came at the station, claiming to be your family and requesting a visit.” The officer at the other end explained, at which Zenigata’s blood ran cold. He gulped before taking a deep breath, which was fruitless in calming down his pounding heart even a little.  
“Sir?”

“I’ll be over in a second.” He responded before heading out of his office.

Zenigata cursed himself internally for not preparing himself, both mentally and physcially, for, as he guessed correctly, his wife’s and daughter’s arrival. Though, at the same time, he never really asked when exactly they’d land, so in the end it was his fault. He sighed, looking down at the ragged ends of his trench coat as he walked. 

He noticed his guest sitting near the entrance. Years of not seeing his family finally seemed to take its toll as he’s nearly not recognized them. Despite age showing on her face, his ex-wife still beamed with beauty, just like the day he’s left Japan to pursue the thief- No. He wouldn’t let the man pester his thoughts, especially at a reunion with his family. 

His daughter, on the other hand, has grown noticeably since he’s last seen her. She should be 21, Zenigata noted, as she walked towards him. Although she had a lot of features of her mother, like her dark curls or her eyes, Zenigata was sure she inherited his posture and height. 

“Dad.” She smiled warmly at him and held out her hand towards him. He gladly shook it, but was soon enough pulled into a hug. He swore he wouldn't cry, but at this moment he let his happiness overflow. The hug, however, soon ended as his ex-wife walked towards them. 

“Toshiko, that’s quite enough, don’t you think?” The older woman placed her hand at Toshiko’s shoulder, her other hand grasping at own purse. She waited for the other woman to stand next to her and turned her head towards the man. “Koichi.”

Zenigata has heard his name more in the past few days than he’s heard in the past decade. “Fuyoko.” He held his hand out for the lady, but she didn’t even bother to look at it, so he stuffed it back into his pocket. He didn’t think he’d receive a warm greeting and a kiss on the cheek, but he also didn’t think she’d act this distanced.

“How’d you find where I work?” Zenigata raised a brow.

“Asked around for a unsuccessful inspector. Seems like you still haven’t caught that thief, correct?” Fuyoko pulled just the right strings just to get under his skin. 

“Mom, could you stop? Dad is more than competent! You’ve seen on TV how many times he’s actually caught bad guys!” Toshiko fumbled with her words, her hands balling up into fists. Zenigata smiled at her daughter. Finally someone who believed in him.

Her mother was about to say something in response, but soon enough closed her mouth and looked at her ex-husband. “We just came in to say where we’re staying.” She handed him a note, with the address of their hotel and another place, she pulled out from her purse. “And that we’ve managed to reserve a table at the local restaurant. Not the best spot, since it was last-minute reservation, but it should do. 8 P.M. sharp. Don’t forget your wife” Zenigata nodded and bid them farewell as he watched them walk out of the station.

He put the note into his pocket and headed back into his office. He sat down, put his feet on the table and looked at the ceiling. The previous anxiety has been replaced with both dread and excitement. When he got back to the hotel he would have to pull out a better suit, since the one he’s been wearing nowadays looked as if he let cats use it as a scratching post. Which could’ve been true, but he’s supposed the endless bad conditions around the world and gun fights were the true culprits. 

Fuyoko’s words, although should’ve been meaningless, still lingered at the seams of his mind. He looked at the ring positioned at his finger. Sure he didn’t see his and Lupin’s marriage as genuine, first issue being the blessing given to them by, as it turned out soon enough, a man in a squirrel suit, even if he was qualified and the ceremony was deemed official, but there was just no way a marriage between a thief and a cop could work out. At least that’s what Zenigata told himself when his mind shifted into Lupin’s direction.

Zenigata tensed. Lupin. “I have to tell that bastard about our dinner!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE WAIT I HAVE SCHOOL UNFORTUNATELY

"Well, would you look at this. If it isn't the infamous Arsené Lupin the Third." Jigen joked before whistling. He laughed when he’s heard Lupin’s very audible huff. He’s been messing with him the whole day, but a little acerbic comments between friends never hurt anyone. Jigen doubted anything really could hurt the other man. He always either found a snarky comment to bite back, or just ignored it, banters flowing off of him like water off duck’s back. 

Lupin turned around to face the mirror and damn, was he pleased with the sight! He smiled as he put his hands on his hips, the lack of pockets still bothering him ever so slightly. He decided to tie a scarf he found around his waist, though he needed to ask for help with tying it as every time he tried to do it himself, it would just slide off and onto the floor. 

He had to admit, however, that he rocked that dress. The back ended just past his knees whilst the front slid nicely down his thighs. Now, he wouldn’t really admit it in front of his gang, but swirling around in circles was about the best thing to do in it. Just not in the shoes he was wearing right now, the ones Fujiko picked.

They had heels a bit too high for Lupin, but he didn’t want to take them off after receiving a message from Fujiko prohibiting him from taking any other pair, just after her words of encouragement and good luck. He shivered, not really wanting to think of Fujiko nowadays, after his big day. Sure, the wedding was no big deal and could be reversed with some simple lawyer work, but he decided that anything beyond looking at people fully-clothed still felt like a major faux pas.

He was definitely getting too into this.

After brushing out any knots, Lupin swirled around to show off his work. The gunman looked up from under the brim of his hat whilst the samurai, who up until now was sitting quiet, looked up and down the thief’s posture. They didn’t bestow him with any comment, however. Lupin’s hands were getting numb from the straightened, flaunting position they were in.

Goemon got up and slanted on the chair, Zentetsuken resting in the palm of his other hand. "You seem to have forgotten to shave your legs." He exclaimed, his face still in its usual, stoic expression. Upon hearing this, both Jigen’s and Lupin’s eyes flew to the legs in question. The gunman stopped a chuckle from escaping his mouth. 

"It'll be dark, nobody will look at my body hair." Lupin pouted. He picked up a purse from the table, one he ‘borrowed’ from the local boutique. 

"Your body consists mostly of legs." Goemon added, his brow quirking up so slightly.

"Yeah, man. And don't forget to shave your stubble. Nobody likes women with facial hair." Jigen added, his fingers wriggling around the package of cigarettes he digged out of inner pocket of his jacket. Lupin reached out to him, but realized that it was very unattractive to smell like smoke. At least most people thought so. Plus, meeting someone’s family and breathing tar in gas state just screamed for a disaster. 

He sighed, before looking down into his purse, in order to see if he’s brought everything. While his hand ran between smoke and glitter bombs and the walkie-talkie he’s heard his partners joke around about his appearance. "Yeah, yeah. You guys just can't handle true beauty." He declared. 

"I wouldn't describe you as a 'beauty'." Jigen joked, getting a slight smile from Goemon and glare from Lupin.

"I have to admit, though, that dress looks… fashionable. I wouldn’t have thought you were in possession of anything like it." Goemon revealed finally after a longer while.

Lupin nodded, smiling. "Fujiko helped me with it."

"Oh no. Here we go again. What’d she want now? All of our cut?" Jigen accused, nearly hissing at the last sentence.

Lupin gave Jigen an unamused look. "Don't worry, she's not working with us. This time she's on the opposite side."

"Finally." The gunman smiled. Lupin rolled his eyes, but Jigen continued: "Hey what about your date tonight? What's the plan?" He propped his elbow on the table, resting his head on his hand. 

"I'll stay for a while, then pardon myself and sneak out." Lupin shrugged. He’s been asking him this on nearly daily basis, and while his plan wasn’t even among the best, it should work out. He just needed to find out if the restaurant they were staying at had any back doors. He’d most likely have to disguise himself, but they didn’t call him master of disguise for nothing, no?

"In those heels?" Goemon raised a brow, inclining to get a better look at his shoes. The golden accents they possessed glimmered in the poor lighting they had. Beggar can’t be chooser.

"What's everybody got against them? They're fashionable AND comfortable."

"Hey, just because you dress up like a woman, doesn't mean you have to act like one." Jigen exclaimed, lifting the brim of his hat and smirking.

"They will get you killed." was Goemon's only comment.

Lupin was just about to say something back, but his train of snark was cut short by a knock on the door. He walked up the door, being the only one standing, only to see Zenigata, flabbergasted thanks to the thief’s appearance. "Well, if it isn't Pops!"

"L-Lupin?" The man in question took the wine bottle the cop was clenching and stepped over, inviting him inside. 

"In the flesh. Whatdya think, looks nice?" Zenigata looked around at the tiny entrance room they were all currently sitting in. He nodded politely at Jigen and Goemon, who in turn duplicated the gesture, before looking at the man next to him. 

"You look great." Zenigata finally said after a moment, only just now realizing the question was directed at him. Lupin smiled as he noticed the slight red at Inspector’s cheeks.

"Watch out, Pops' getting romantic here." Jigen exclaimed, shifting in the chair he was sitting. He propped up his chin at his hand, his fingers brushing through his beard. 

Zenigata flared up like a red traffic light. “Shut up! It’s not like that at all, idiot!” He balled up his fists, but Lupin put his hand on his shoulder, getting his attention.

"Ignore them. It’s our night, after all.” Lupin smiled.

"You’re not taking this seriously while I am a ball of nerves!”

“Aw, Pops. Of course I’m taking this seriously!” He sighed, Zenigata’s brows staying stubbornly furrowed. “I bet your wife- sorry, ex-wife, is already pulling her hair out.” He tried to humor the older man.  
Zenigata’s mouth jerked at the sides but no smile appeared. “They should be waiting outside." He exclaimed before making motions out of the room. He stopped in the doorstep and looked at the younger man. "And don't call me Pops. Especially around my family."

"Sure thing, Daddy." Lupin giggled, catching up to the man without breaking a leg. He laughed even harder as Zenigata gave him a glare that could almost kill. Almost.

"Lupin." He warned before moving out on the hallway. Lupin, on the other hand, looked back at the table one more time. He felt he was forgetting something, but had no idea what it could be.

"Go or else those two will get mad." Jigen popped out of the doorway, knocking Lupin to Zenigata’s side. The thief hit inspector’s shoulder, thankfully not hard enough to do any real damage. He looked back at Jigen only to see Goemon standing alongside him. Parents of a kid who’s going on a prom was all Lupin could think of at the sight.

"I like to be fashionably late." He replied, half-assedly cleaning his dress of imaginary dust. 

"Be back at 9 and don't talk to strangers!" With that the apartment door closed, leaving the two alone. At least until they entered the elevator with at least a dozen partying people. They all were yelling something in another language, one Lupin couldn't make out because of an accent.

He looked back at Zenigata. Though the man tried to act cool and collected, Lupin could see he was clearly not ready for tonight. Well, that makes two of them at least.

Hopefully, Jigen and Goemon will be able to sneak into that party. Casino. Whatever. They decided it would be for the best to just use the old-fashioned vent way. Sure, the building was packed with guards, but the owner couldn’t be paranoid enough to make anyone guard the ventways. At least they hoped not. The vents lead straight to the safe, so who knows? If anything the contains of guest’s pockets should be better than nothing.

Lupin was brought back to reality as the elevator let out a ‘ding!’, letting everyone inside know they’ve reached the ground floor. 

“Let’s get this over with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hands sweaty, mom's spaghetti
> 
> also i cannot believe lupin has a gun dad and a sword dad, wow gay rights


	6. Chapter 6

"Well, hello." Zenigata noticed his family standing in front of the restaurant they were supposed to meet at.. Lupin and he were a tad late. It annoyed Zenigata’s ex-wife, he was sure of it. When they lived together in Japan she’d made a fuss every time he was late from work. Seems that didn’t change, as she kept tapping her foot on the stone pavement.   


Their daughter was standing next to her mother, already tired of her mother’s tone. She nodded to the two of them, smiling warmly. “Hello.”

Lupin smiled at the two, before clearing his throat. “Why, hello! Sorry for the wait, you know how Vegas is this time of year.” He offered, getting no response from Zenigata’s family. 

Fuyuko nodded. “Won’t you introduce us, Koichi?”    
  
"Ah, yes. Uh, Marie, this is my ex-wife, Fuyuko." Zenigata fumbled with his words, pointing to the older woman. “And Fuyoko, my- my wife, Marie.” Lupin reached out and Fuyuko shook his hand.   
  
"Nice to meet you." She put on a light smile.    
  
"Likewise." He returned the gesture.   
  
"And my daughter, Toshiko." The inspector pointed to his daughter who was quietly standing at the side. She reached out to Lupin who happily shook her hand.

  
"Ah, your father has told me a lot about you!" He lied.   
  
"He did?" The girl raised her brows at Lupin’s words, her mouth a thin line.   
  
"I did? I mean, of course I did!" Zenigata tried to play along, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, smiling just a bit too wide for it to be sincere.   
  
"Shall we go inside?" Fuyuko suggested, already holding the door.    
  
"Ah, of course." He nodded.

Once inside, he noticed just how big the building was. Outside, it looked like a small, family diner with plants obscuring the view inside, but it turned out that the building was longer than wider. There weren’t that many people dining, just few couples and a family. Zenigata heard someone playing on a violin in the distance. He wondered if his salary would be enough to cover the bill.

A waiter came up to them and placed them at a table. After placing cards before them, he walked away. He brought a bottle of wine, at Lupin’s request, and poured everyone a glass. "My, Kouichi. I wouldn't even think your wife would be this beautiful. I didn't even think you were interested in women nowadays. You're always chasing that one thief around, what's his name?" Fuyuko spoke, before sipping the alcohol.   
  
"Lupin?" The man in question suggested, putting his hands on the table.   
  
"Yes! Have you by any chance caught him yet?" Fuyuko asked, raising a brow.    
  
"Ah!... No, not really." Zenigata exclaimed, lethargic.   
  
"Figures." She exclaimed, before quirking her brows once before and once again sipping on her wine.   
  
An awkward silence fell between them. Seeing this, Toshiko fake-coughed. "So, how have you two met?" She put her head on the palm of her hand, smiling sincerely.    
  
"Uh... France! Yeah, I was chasing h- Lupin and I saw her on the boat." Now, this wasn’t a lie. He first saw this disguise on the Venus, just after they’ve fished Lupin out of the sea.    
  
"He instantly fell for me." Lupin added.   
  
"Romantic." Toshiko said, her tone soft.   
  
"Why are you still wearing your work outfit. There's no thieves around, now are there?" Fuyuko huffed. True be told, he didn’t pay any attention to his outfit. He was far more anxious about the impression he’d leave. He could’ve taken off his trench coat, he had to admit. And his hat.    
  
"No." He replied, eyeing Lupin from above the brim of his glass.   
  
"Well, it fits with my dress." The thief claimed.   
  
"Blue does suit you." Zenigata said before sipping on his wine, noticing the interesting taste it had.    
  
Suddenly, Lupin's hand found its place on top of his hand.

Zenigata froze, hoping his eyes, now the size of ping-pong balls didn't distract anyone from their conversation. He felt anxiety build up in him. He cursed his body for acting like little hand holding was the end of the world. His heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest and onto his plate.

Calm down, Zenigata thought, he's just messing with you. It's all a game to him. Somehow, this thought didn't feel sincere. Like he was lying to himself. Of course he wasn't, it was Lupin he was talking about here. The man had a million masks, and a million more lies. 

Still, however, the thought of Lupin actually wearing his heart on his sleeve like he claimed to do was comforting, somehow. Now, that was a stupid though, but him and Lupin being actual... friends, didn't seem so bad. Sure, they were rivals, but that didn't disqualify them from forming a relationship. Platonic, Zenigata added in his thoughts, but he was quickly stopped when Lupin began rubbing circled on his knuckles.

Zenigata gulped. Lupin was not only playing tricks with him, BUT also seemed to read his thoughts. Now even in his mind he wasn't safe. If Lupin could do so, he had to flatter that bastard and admit that his fingers felt almost heavenly on his fingers. Maybe he managed to slip some aphrodisiacs into his drink and- wait, why is he looking at him like this? 

"Koichi. Are you all right?" Lupin asked, smiling softly. Zenigata hated how his eyes just screamed comfort. Zenigata hated that his fingers were now entangled with his own. Zenigata hated Lupin. 

Zenigata hated that he's seemed to have fallen in love with Lupin. Out of all people. Goddamn Lupin the Third. He wanted both to cuff the man and leave hin in a cell to rot for the rest of his life and to hold him and kiss him. The inspector realized how hopeless he was.

"Koichi!" Fuyuko beckoned, getting Zenigata's attention. She straightened her back, the wine glass in her hand. Her daughter on the other hand looked slightly out of place, just like her father. "I asked you a question."

"Ah, uh... Yes?"

* * *

Zenigata hoped the sink was deep enough to drown him. The cold water contrasted with the hotness of his cheeks. If he was as red as he was hot, he must look like a tomato. He didn't look into the mirror when he stormed into the bathroom. Just left his hat at the porcelain and dumped his head under the faucet.

His ex-wife has asked him if they were planning on having kids and he said yes. He's never seen Lupin change expressions so fast, from shocked to laughing his ass off. Speaking of the man, he came up to him, still laughing.

"Pops, there might be a problem with your plan, and that is none of us can get pregnant." Lupin exclaimed and leaned on the wall next to the sink, his hand reaching out for Zenigata's hat. “Unless, you wanna adopt, of course.”

The inspector pulled his head from under the faucet, The water dripping down his chin. The heat has died down, thankfully. Upon looking into the mirror he noticed his cheeks were still flushed, but not much. Who knew what embarrassment could do to people. He looked at the thief who has already put on his hat. From the arched position Zenigata was standing in, he was able to see only one of Lupin’s eyes. "Do you ever shut up?" Zenigata asked, quietly sighing after a moment.

Lupin smirked. "Gotta admit it, Pops. You sure know how to charm a guy." He giggled when Zenigata straightened, huffing. "Calm down, I'm just kidding." He winked.

"Just messing around like you always do." Zenigata exclaimed. Emotions, were exactly what Lupin kept poking at, something Zenigata would like to ignore. Especially now. He was just a big joke to the other man, whilst Lupin was his entire world. A nuisance and a pleasantry. Or at least that was Zenigata’s dramatic thought, one that plundered him while he tossed and turned in bed.

He wiped off his face at the back of his sleeve. His throat felt tight, but he refused to cry. Not tonight. He felt a hand on his shoulder. “C’mon, my jokes aren’t that cruel.” Lupin’s voice drove Zenigata to edge. With one swift move, he grabbed Lupin by the seems of his dress and slammed him into the wall. The thief gasped, not prepared for the impact. His hat fell to the ground as Lupin opened one eye to look at the inspector.

“My emotions are not your joke material, idiot!” Zenigata yelled out, tears pricking at corners of his eyes. Lupin was staring back at him, shocked and out of words. It was new for the inspector. Usually he couldn’t shut his yap, but now he just stared at him, his eyelids glistening with glitter. “Do you have any idea what you’re putting me through?! How much I sacrificed for you! And all I get is your gang mocking me!” 

“Pops, that’s-”

“And don’t even get me started on you! An immature, untrustworthy unreliable jerk who I fell in love with!” He felt hot tears stream down his face. Realizing what he’s said, what he’s admitted to, he started sobbing into the thief’s chest. Zenigata was ready for Lupin’s hate to come down, storming on him. He’d escape from the restaurant and never speak to him again. Bumbling excuse of a man. He and his big mouth.

What he didn’t expect however was to feel Lupin’s hands on his shoulders, trying to bring them to the same eye level. “You’re wrinkling my dress, Zenigata.” Ah, so the nickname was gone already. He straightened and sniffled, looking at Lupin’s face.

What he was expecting was animosity, but all Lupin’s eyes shown were warmth. Not pity, not exactly. More affectionate. “You are the worst, most stubborn pain in the ass I’ve ever met, but you’re my pain in the ass.” Lupin winked. Zenigata’s eyebrows scrunched at Lupin’s words. “What I mean is.” he continued, but didn’t finish. Instead, he leaned and gave a quick peck to Zenigata’s lips. The inspector blinked, unsure if what was happening was exactly real. He crashed his lips into Lupin’s, just to be sure.

Lupin’s hands ran down his shoulders, whilst his relaxed its grip on the thief’s dress. His hands awkwardly cupped Lupin’s face. Zenigata could feel Lupin’s heart speed up as he bit softly onto the thief’s bottom lip. He relished the feeling of Lupin moaning softly against him. They parted, getting a moment to breathe. “Never would thought that, ah,” Lupin panted. “That you’d be so good at this, old man.” He smiled, winking. 

“Same goes to you.” Zenigata said without a second thought, getting a laugh out of him. 

“Practice makes perfect.” 

Zenigata hated how good Lupin looked. His wig was nearly falling off, his makeup was smudged, especially his lipstick, and he’s never looked hotter in Zenigata’s eyes. He coughed, realizing that he’s been staring. He let go of Lupin completely and gave the man some space. “Right. Sorry. This was, uh…” His eyes trailed off to the side only to catch a glimpse of Lupin’s smile. He tensed. “...Inappropriate.”

“Aw, it was only a kiss between newlyweds! Was I really that bad?” Lupin asked.

“You sure do like to bring up the marriage thing.”

“Only because those,” He slipped his fingers between Zenigata’s, their rings bumping into each other, and brought them higher for the other man to see. “Keep reminding me.”

Zenigata stayed quiet for a minute. “My family is probably waiting for us.” He exclaimed, fixing the thief’s wig into the right position, who in response nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wig: snatched  
> also now i gotta draw lupin wearing zenis hat one sec


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so  
> I have no idea what happened but this somehow went from an actual chapter to a draft, sorry for all the confusion!! :¬(

"Well, hello." Zenigata noticed his family standing in front of the restaurant they were supposed to meet at.. Lupin and he were a tad late. It annoyed Zenigata’s ex-wife, he was sure of it. When they lived together in Japan she’d made a fuss every time he was late from work. Seems that didn’t change, as she kept tapping her foot on the stone pavement. 

Their daughter was standing next to her mother, already tired of her mother’s tone. She nodded to the two of them, smiling warmly. “Hello.”

Lupin smiled at the two, before clearing his throat. “Why, hello! Sorry for the wait, you know how Vegas is this time of year.” He offered, getting no response from Zenigata’s family. 

Fuyuko nodded. “Won’t you introduce us, Koichi?”    
  
"Ah, yes. Uh, Marie, this is my ex-wife, Fuyuko." Zenigata fumbled with his words, pointing to the older woman. “And Fuyoko, my- my wife, Marie.” Lupin reached out and Fuyuko shook his hand.   
  
"Nice to meet you." She put on a light smile.    
  
"Likewise." He returned the gesture.   
  
"And my daughter, Toshiko." The inspector pointed to his daughter who was quietly standing at the side. She reached out to Lupin who happily shook her hand.

  
"Ah, your father has told me a lot about you!" He lied.   
  
"He did?" The girl raised her brows at Lupin’s words, her mouth a thin line.   
  
"I did? I mean, of course I did!" Zenigata tried to play along, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, smiling just a bit too wide for it to be sincere.   
  
"Shall we go inside?" Fuyuko suggested, already holding the door.    
  
"Ah, of course." He nodded.

Once inside, he noticed just how big the building was. Outside, it looked like a small, family diner with plants obscuring the view inside, but it turned out that the building was longer than wider. There weren’t that many people dining, just few couples and a family. Zenigata heard someone playing on a violin in the distance. He wondered if his salary would be enough to cover the bill.

A waiter came up to them and placed them at a table. After placing cards before them, he walked away. He brought a bottle of wine, at Lupin’s request, and poured everyone a glass. "My, Kouichi. I wouldn't even think your wife would be this beautiful. I didn't even think you were interested in women nowadays. You're always chasing that one thief around, what's his name?" Fuyuko spoke, before sipping the alcohol.   
  
"Lupin?" The man in question suggested, putting his hands on the table.   
  
"Yes! Have you by any chance caught him yet?" Fuyuko asked, raising a brow.    
  
"Ah!... No, not really." Zenigata exclaimed, lethargic.   
  
"Figures." She exclaimed, before quirking her brows once before and once again sipping on her wine.   
  
An awkward silence fell between them. Seeing this, Toshiko fake-coughed. "So, how have you two met?" She put her head on the palm of her hand, smiling sincerely.    
  
"Uh... France! Yeah, I was chasing h- Lupin and I saw her on the boat." Now, this wasn’t a lie. He first saw this disguise on the Venus, just after they’ve fished Lupin out of the sea.    
  
"He instantly fell for me." Lupin added.   
  
"Romantic." Toshiko said, her tone soft.   
  
"Why are you still wearing your work outfit. There's no thieves around, now are there?" Fuyuko huffed. True be told, he didn’t pay any attention to his outfit. He was far more anxious about the impression he’d leave. He could’ve taken off his trench coat, he had to admit. And his hat.    
  
"No." He replied, eyeing Lupin from above the brim of his glass.   
  
"Well, it fits with my dress." The thief claimed.   
  
"Blue does suit you." Zenigata said before sipping on his wine, noticing the interesting taste it had.    
  
Suddenly, Lupin's hand found its place on top of his hand.

Zenigata froze, hoping his eyes, now the size of ping-pong balls didn't distract anyone from their conversation. He felt anxiety build up in him. He cursed his body for acting like little hand holding was the end of the world. His heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest and onto his plate.

Calm down, Zenigata thought, he's just messing with you. It's all a game to him. Somehow, this thought didn't feel sincere. Like he was lying to himself. Of course he wasn't, it was Lupin he was talking about here. The man had a million masks, and a million more lies. 

Still, however, the thought of Lupin actually wearing his heart on his sleeve like he claimed to do was comforting, somehow. Now, that was a stupid though, but him and Lupin being actual... friends, didn't seem so bad. Sure, they were rivals, but that didn't disqualify them from forming a relationship. Platonic, Zenigata added in his thoughts, but he was quickly stopped when Lupin began rubbing circled on his knuckles.

Zenigata gulped. Lupin was not only playing tricks with him, BUT also seemed to read his thoughts. Now even in his mind he wasn't safe. If Lupin could do so, he had to flatter that bastard and admit that his fingers felt almost heavenly on his knuckles. Maybe he managed to slip some aphrodisiacs into his drink and- wait, why is he looking at him like this? 

"Koichi. Are you all right?" Lupin asked, smiling softly. Zenigata hated how his eyes just screamed comfort. Zenigata hated that his fingers were now entangled with his own. Zenigata hated Lupin. 

Zenigata hated that he's seemed to have fallen in love with Lupin. Out of all people. Goddamn Lupin the Third. He wanted both to cuff the man and leave hin in a cell to rot for the rest of his life and to hold him and kiss him. The inspector realized how hopeless he was.

"Koichi!" Fuyuko beckoned, getting Zenigata's attention. She straightened her back, the wine glass in her hand. Her daughter on the other hand looked slightly out of place, just like her father. "I asked you a question."

"Ah, uh... Yes?"

* * *

Zenigata hoped the sink was deep enough to drown him. The cold water contrasted with the hotness of his cheeks. If he was as red as he was hot, he must look like a tomato. He didn't look into the mirror when he stormed into the bathroom. Just left his hat at the porcelain and dumped his head under the faucet.

His ex-wife has asked him if they were planning on having kids and he said yes. He's never seen Lupin change expressions so fast, from shocked to laughing his ass off. Speaking of the man, he came up to him, still laughing.

"Pops, there might be a problem with your plan, and that is none of us can get pregnant." Lupin exclaimed and leaned on the wall next to the sink, his hand reaching out for Zenigata's hat. “Unless, you wanna adopt, of course.”

The inspector pulled his head from under the faucet, The water dripping down his chin. The heat has died down, thankfully. Upon looking into the mirror he noticed his cheeks were still flushed, but not much. Who knew what embarrassment could do to people. He looked at the thief who has already put on his hat. From the arched position Zenigata was standing in, he was able to see only one of Lupin’s eyes. "Do you ever shut up?" Zenigata asked, quietly sighing after a moment.

Lupin smirked. "Gotta admit it, Pops. You sure know how to charm a guy." He giggled when Zenigata straightened, huffing. "Calm down, I'm just kidding." He winked.

"Just messing around like you always do." Zenigata exclaimed. Emotions, were exactly what Lupin kept poking at, something Zenigata would like to ignore. Especially now. He was just a big joke to the other man, whilst Lupin was his entire world. A nuisance and a pleasantry. Or at least that was Zenigata’s dramatic thought, one that plundered him while he tossed and turned in bed.

He wiped off his face at the back of his sleeve. His throat felt tight, but he refused to cry. Not tonight. He felt a hand on his shoulder. “C’mon, my jokes aren’t that cruel.” Lupin’s voice drove Zenigata to edge. With one swift move, he grabbed Lupin by the seems of his dress and slammed him into the wall. The thief gasped, not prepared for the impact. His hat fell to the ground as Lupin opened one eye to look at the inspector.

“My emotions are not your joke material, idiot!” Zenigata yelled out, tears pricking at corners of his eyes. Lupin was staring back at him, shocked and out of words. It was new for the inspector. Usually he couldn’t shut his yap, but now he just stared at him, his eyelids glistening with glitter. “Do you have any idea what you’re putting me through?! How much I sacrificed for you! And all I get is your gang mocking me!” 

“Pops, that’s-”

“And don’t even get me started on you! An immature, untrustworthy unreliable jerk who I fell in love with!” He felt hot tears stream down his face. Realizing what he’s said, what he’s admitted to, he started sobbing into the thief’s chest. Zenigata was ready for Lupin’s hate to come down, storming on him. He’d escape from the restaurant and never speak to him again. Bumbling excuse of a man. He and his big mouth.

What he didn’t expect however was to feel Lupin’s hands on his shoulders, trying to bring them to the same eye level. “You’re wrinkling my dress, Zenigata.” Ah, so the nickname was gone already. He straightened and sniffled, looking at Lupin’s face.

What he was expecting was animosity, but all Lupin’s eyes shown were warmth. Not pity, not exactly. More affectionate. “You are the worst, most stubborn pain in the ass I’ve ever met, but you’re my pain in the ass.” Lupin winked. Zenigata’s eyebrows scrunched at Lupin’s words. “What I mean is.” he continued, but didn’t finish. Instead, he leaned and gave a quick peck to Zenigata’s lips. The inspector blinked, unsure if what was happening was exactly real. He crashed his lips into Lupin’s, just to be sure.

Lupin’s hands ran down his shoulders, whilst his relaxed its grip on the thief’s dress. His hands awkwardly cupped Lupin’s face. Zenigata could feel Lupin’s heart speed up as he bit softly onto the thief’s bottom lip. He relished the feeling of Lupin moaning softly against him. They parted, getting a moment to breathe. “Never would thought that, ah,” Lupin panted. “That you’d be so good at this, old man.” He smiled, winking. 

“Same goes to you.” Zenigata said without a second thought, getting a laugh out of him. 

“Practice makes perfect.” 

Zenigata hated how good Lupin looked. His wig was nearly falling off, his makeup was smudged, especially his lipstick, and he’s never looked hotter in Zenigata’s eyes. He coughed, realizing that he’s been staring. He let go of Lupin completely and gave the man some space. “Right. Sorry. This was, uh…” His eyes trailed off to the side only to catch a glimpse of Lupin’s smile. He tensed. “...Inappropriate.”

“Aw, it was only a kiss between newlyweds! Was I really that bad?” Lupin asked.

“You sure do like to bring up the marriage thing.”

“Only because those,” He slipped his fingers between Zenigata’s, their rings bumping into each other, and brought them higher for the other man to see. “Keep reminding me.”

Zenigata stayed quiet for a minute. “My family is probably waiting for us.” He exclaimed, fixing the thief’s wig into the right position, who in response nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wig: snatched  
> also now i gotta draw lupin wearing zenis hat one sec


	8. Chapter 8

Lupin swinged on his legs as he watched Zenigata march off out of the bathroom. The older man put his hands into his pockets after eyeing Lupin suspiciously. Despite their relationship shifting towards something both men weren’t sure of, Zenigata kept his paranoidal skepticism just like Lupin kept his cards up his sleeve. The thief made a little dance whilst exclaiming that he needed to use one of the stalls. Zenigata made a cautious expression, but inevitably sighed and decided to go humor his family before withdrawing his hat from the floor. 

Lupin smiled and walked into one of the stalls, fishing out a walkie-talkie from his makeshift breast, thank heaven for silicone forms and latex, before trying to contact his partners. He felt uneasy with how long they were taking to respond. He doubted they got caught, especially considering their range of skills, but still the feeling his gut was emitting made his shift his weight from one leg to another.

“What’s up, Boss? Need dating advice?” Finally, the voice of Lupin’s favorite gunman resonated. Despite Jigen’s evident mood for unnecessary, in Lupin’s opinion, jokes he still sounded fatigued, as if just after their casual jogs with cops.

“How’s the casino, Jigen?” Lupin asked, forgetting once more he didn’t have pockets and just brushing his hands on the material. He frowned, missing the feeling of material all around his legs, instead of just the back. Plus, the wig cap was starting to unwelcomely dig into his scalp.

“Ran into some problems. Don’t worry your pretty little head, we took care of it.” Jigen exhaled loudly. “Now if you could come over? That’d be grand, Lupin.” 

Lupin took a moment to reply. He could skidaddle out of here with no problem that he knew. However, he wasn’t sure what would Zenigata think. He’d just make him a buffoon in front of family. All of this shouldn’t be troubling him, god dammit! When did he become so soft? It’s not like he actually cared about the inspector! Right?

He sighed. Of course he cared about that old bastard. Sure, he dealt him more trouble than he ever wished for, but with how he acted today? It was hard not to feel sympathetic. Rubbing his hands against his face, he thought of how would the cop even explain that yes, his date and significant other did run out in order to rob a bank. And yes, he is going to run after him. Oh, by the way? He’s actually married the damn thief he was supposed to capture.

Lupin laughed. He did catch him, but not in the way he wanted. He leaned against the wall he was just pinned to. Zenigata loved him. Pops’ words still resonated in his skull like a song he couldn’t get out. Man, he didn’t remember when he last saw Zenigata have such a heart to heart to him. Probably the time the inspector said something about fate and retiring. Lupin’s fingers hovered over his lips. He couldn’t fathom how his and Zenigata’s lives would continue now. There was no way they’d just settle down. Lupin would continue to be Lupin, and Zenigata would continue trying to apprehend him.

He looked at the ring on his hand. Lupin has fallen, and fallen hard, and he didn’t think it could have any positive sides.

Knitting his eyebrows he decided to ignore the guilt that was slowly, but surely building up in him and to help out his friends. He’d give Zenigata a call later. “See ya’ in a sec.” The thief responded and hid the walkie-talkie back between the silicone breast. Now, onto finding a good disguise. 

* * *

Zenigata sat back at the table without a word. Toshiko seemed to try to hold back a snicker, hiding behind her hand whilst Fuyoko raised a brow at him from behind her glass. They had already requested their meals for tonight - he assumed it was tartar, but no egg in sight threw him off. Nothing too big, just enough not to fill an empty stomach. They had ordered the same tiny portion of raw pink meat for Lupin and him. He frowned, but no food should be wasted. He was just about to grab his fork before his ex-wife fake-coughed. “You seem to have something on your face, Koichi.” She declared and the inspector could see the slight smile appear on her face.

“Huh?” 

“Here.” Toshiko dove her hand into her purse and pulled out a small powder box and handed it to Zenigata. He opened it after a moment of simple staring at the object, looking at the ornament on top of it. A pink, tall plant, with tiny flowers all around. He must’ve picked up the habit of examining object in his job. He looked at his reflection in the mirror positioned inside the box and immediately understood the problem. 

Red lipstick Lupin rocked was smeared on top of his lips. “Ah.” And he wondered why people looked at him weird. He tried rubbing it off, but all he managed to do was spread it even more across his face which now was red not only because of makeup. His cheeks grew more and more hot as he failed to wipe off the product.

Finally his wife handed him a tissue. After mumbling out a thank you he wiped off the excess product. He really couldn’t pass on embarrassing himself, now could he? Toshiko was still smiling at him and he shot her an awkward grin. “I see your journey to the bathroom turned more intimate than you anticipated?” 

Zenigata’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull at Fuyoko’s sentence. “Intimate?! Absolutely not!” He felt his cheeks once again heat up as he thought of their small randez vous. Just a moment of weakness, he told himself. Ha! As if he and Lupin could actually be together! 

Yet, the thought of him coming back to his hotel room alone made him feel somewhat cold inside.

“I’m sure Maria would agree with me. Where is she now?” Fuyoko asked, looking off to the side. The inspector had a bad feeling about the absence of Lupin. He closed his eye, looking between and at the couples and families. No sign of that monkey face anywhere. The thief had to be planning something. Color him obsessive, but he knew the signs of Lupin’s mental circuits working. The only thing that didn’t indicate an outright heist was the absence of his card.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed movement of peculiar blue dress near the kitchen door. Unfortunately, the person wearing it disappeared just as fast as they’ve appeared. That was his cue. He put on his hat he’s previously hidden into his trench coat’s pocket and got up from the table. “Please, pardon me. Duty’s calling.” He shifted his hat a bit lower and turned towards the kitchen. That is, he tried to, but he walked right into a waiter, causing him to nearly spill the soup he was carrying all over the inspector.

The moustached man frowned. “Be careful, sir!” The waiter exclaimed, holding onto the silver tray as he listened to Zenigata’s apology. He huffed and walked towards the exit.

“Right then, now- hey, wait a minute.” Zenigata took another look at the waiter and noticed the glimmer of sequins coming from one of his pantlegs. He put two and two together and- “Lupin!” He yelled out as he stormed after the man, who in turn threw the tray back at inspector.

The silver hit him right in the head, the soup staining his clothes deep red. He lost his footing for a moment, letting the thief once more escape. “You won’t get away, Lupin!” With that he ran out and onto the road. “Get back here!” He saw Lupin ripping off the disguise in the distance, letting the moustached mask fly away and onto the inspector’s face.

“Sorry Pops, no can do!” The thief yelled back and once Zenigata got rid of the nuisance on his face, Lupin was gone. Zenigata thought of any bigger bank or safe in the nearest distance and then he remembered about the casino re-opening. 

“I’ll getcha tonight, Lupin!” He declared, throwing his fist into the air, yelling after the man that was long gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewatched the secret of mamo and it continues to be one of my fav lupin movies  
> also sorry for the wait, next chapter SHOULD be the last one and the longest one, since I gotta resolve some action AND romance, but who knows umu


	9. Chapter 9

If Lupin's dash, from the restaurant to the casino few blocks down, in heels, while running from the police didn't count as an achievement he'd be quite frankly pissed. He had no idea how could Fujiko do it as often as she did. Amidst running Lupin's realized exactly two things.

One, he forgot to bring his normal clothes with him, so if he didn't want to dangle from the vents by the seams of his dress, he would be forced to steal someone's suit, either squeeze into one made for organless liches or drown in the amount of material one of the steretypical richfolks would offer him. Although, both seemed to have its flaws, with his motions being limited and all that. He guessed he'd just go along with whatever is going on inside. He'd figure something out like he always did.

Two, that one he discovered when trying to get inside from the roof, is that he seemed to have forgotten what Jigen has told him about the building's inner structure. Or rather he would forget if he was listening at all. Instead he was too busy primping up. And now all his hard work went up the drain, with his makeup smudged and dress full of bullet holes which he'd beautifully thank Zenigata for later.

Standing on the roof's concrete floor, illuminated by the casino's sign, Lupin decided to fuck it, and ripped the wig off his head. Ah, the feeling of wind in his actual hair! It's a wonder that the wig stayed on despite his disguise. "Lupin! Come back here! He smiled as he noticed Zenigata has finally decided to join him at the top. The rest of the officers must've been ordered to guard every other entrance.

"Ah, Pops! Sorry, I wanted to enjoy some fresh air! You know how stuffy a place can be." He flashed him a smile and a wink, but all the inspector offered back were handcuffs glistening in his hands and a grin plastered onto his face.

"Where you are going it's going to be a living hell then!" He replied, taking a step towards Lupin.

"You sure you want me in jail?" Lupin asked, not moving an inch, still gripping onto his wig. "You're gonna miss me and my kisses then! Nobody would want to see you all sulky because of that!"

"Shut up! I won't miss anything once I capture you once and for all!" Zenigata said, yet there was a hint of incertitude behind his voice.

"Pops, there's no need to act like nothing happened! Seriously, you make me feel like I didn't do the smoochin' right!" Lupin exclaimed, slowly coming towards the older man.

"Shut up! You're just playing with me!" Zenigata insisted.

"We had this talk already, Pops. Just trust me." 

Lupin said and soon enough found himself so close with the inspector that it was a wonder they hadn't bumped their noses yet. Zenigata swallowed and let Lupin plant a quick peck on his lips. He blinked, having expecting something more. "I'll give you a better one once I get that bad boy open." Lupin laughed pointing downwards.

"What? Wait, Lupin!" Zenigata yelled after already escaping thief who has thrown something his way. He's caught it ungracefully with his face, the blonde locks tickling his nose. "Bastard!" Lupin heard as he swinged on the ledge of the building, slipping into the casino through a conveniently opened window, descending into the building, before a loud explosion rang out followed by a rain of glitter.

Lupin smiled as he noticed nobody else was in the room with him.

But he also had no idea where he was. The room was dark as hell, and his vision was still adjusting from neon lights outside.

He blinked few times, the object in room becoming more visible with every flap of his eyelids. It must've been a management room, the monitors on desk suggested. He walked up to the displayed screens, studying the content. Suddenly, the walkie-talkie buzzed. "Lupin, are you there?"

Ah, the sweet voice of his samurai companion. "You betcha! Where are you guys now?" He asked, pressing the device into his shoulder as he began his search for some information about the safe.

Whoever owned this casino was one hell of a cheapskate, Lupin had to admit, as he's only got to deal with 2 guards per corridor. True, that can always end badly, but what is to him! "Jigen is waiting on the parking lot while I'm waiting for you on the lower floor, the last room from the entrance."

"Keeping all the dough underground, huh? If I had all that money I'd show it off."

"Which is why we're thieves and not secure business people." Lupin made a sound of only semi-faked offense and decided to walk out, not before closing all evidence. All, except one window, the building's plans in form of an image file, that just decided to stop responding. Then task manager decided to just die up on him.

Lupin gave out a sound of frustration before freezing, the same way this damn system did, as he's heard guards' distant voices. Oh, shoot.

In a moment of panic, Lupin took off one of his shoes and slamed it through the screen, heel side down. It nearly got stuck, but thanks to Lupin's stubbornness and refusal to embarrass himself further the shoe finally gave up, freeing itself from the electolized hell and nearly doubling Lupin over.

Now all that was left of him was a giant hole in one of the monitors. It still displayed some palette of colors, but nothing that looked remotely like the image before. He frowned at the poor computer's murder scene, but soon enough found himself next to the entrance door, waiting for the guards to come.

Few moments passed, and the voices found their source behind the doors, stubbornly refusing to do the thief's bidding and just come in so he could slip out. "You really are trying me today!" He whispered to himself as he walked to the ventilation crate, being forced to use his heel as a screwdriver, which isn't as easy as it should be in retrospect, but it got the job done, and soon enough Lupin has found himself crawling through the metal corridors.

"Of course, I can buy you those paintings, darling!" Lupin stopped in his tracks before one of the crates, his curious nature getting the best of him. "Once this banquet ends I'll have enough money to buy the entire museum!"

He eyed the room through thick plastic, still getting somewhat accurate image of what was going on inside. An older man, the owner of this casino, was sitting on the couch, trying to hit on a woman next to him. "You are very generous, Mr. Aleksandrovic." Fujiko, who was currently sitting at the couch, sipping on wine, replied.

"Why, anything for you, Fujiko, my sweetest!" The older man exclaimed, clasping his hands together and going in for a kiss just to get pushed off by the brunette.

"Sorry Fujiko, but it seems your piggy bank will get smashed tonight." Lupin said, feeling only somewhat guilty as he continued to wiggle his way towards his partners.

* * *

"C'mon, where are they?" Jigen whined, hitting his fingers to the beat of some 80's song at a truck's steering wheel. The latex skin of his mask was starting to dig into his real one, causing one damn itch. That and the gray mustache just didn't want to stay on, because why should it. "Fujiko better haven't gotten the safe first."

His posture changed as he heard tapping on the window as he heard tapping on his window. He slowly turned only to see glitter covered, worn out cop glaring at him. Lupin must've already had a hassle with him, Jigen thought and rolled down the window.

"Hello, sir!" Zenigata started, tipping his hat, letting some of the glitter to fall onto the ground. "I'm Zenigata of Interpol, may I know what you're doing here?"

"Ah... I'm waiting for a friend!" Jigen smiled at the older man, who didn't seem to be buying the gunman's words.

"Is he inside the casino?"

"No, the casino's parking lot is just the closest for him to get here." Jigen shrugged, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, be careful. There's a dangerous thief around here and-"

"Shouldn't you be looking for him?" Jigen asked, momentarily slipping out of his role.

"What was that?" Zenigata's brows furrowed.

"Ah, nothing. And officer? You seem to have something on your face." Jigen said, smiling curiously at the slight red hue on Inspector's lips. Damn Lupin. Stupid bastard.

At this moment, casino's wall partially gave out and crumbled in dust- or so it seemed, before Jigen noticed Goemon standing before the newly made hole, Lupin sitting right on the safe. Then fire and something red flashed before Jigen's eyes and- "Lupin! You're under arrest!"

"It seems he's arrived," Jigen stated before ripping the latex from his face. "Pops."

"J-Jigen!" But before Zenigata could do anything the bright red objects, which soon enough turned out to be manually controlled rockets, flared with light and took off.

Lupin waved at the two men, the samurai sitting next to him. "Hiya, Pops! Sorry, but it seems I'll be taking this!"

"Lupin, no! My money!" Fujiko yelled out before running after the safe which was already out of view, alongside Jigen and his truck.

"Where are we heading?" Goemon asked, noticing that their altitude was getting smaller.

"The highway. I asked Jigen to open up the truck." With that the thief pointed to the already dismantled truck container in which they safetly landed. Lupin sighed, sprawling on top of the safe as soon as the roof closed above them. "Jigen, buddy, lend me a smoke, will ya?"

* * *

Lupin had been gone almost immediately after they got back to their hideout, not really stating anything except for yelling that he would be back soon enough. And Jigen didn't press on. Just laid down at the couch in their small living room. Then Goemon exclaimed it was time to train again.

Jigen just hoped he wouldn't almost die of hunger like he usually did. He popped in a cig and turned on the TV, mindlessly surfing through channels, waiting for Lupin to get back from whatever business he was attending to.

Jigen must've dozed off because as soon as he reopened his eyes, Lupin was already back, standing next to four paintings of dogs Jigen couldn't muster the strenght to identify.

"Lupin, no offense, but why did you get those paintings? They're tacky as hell.." Jigen lifted his back, looking at his partner, who was currently hanging up what seemed to be a portrait of one of the ugliest mutts Jigen has seen in his life.

Lupin didn't reply for a second, instead relishing in a feeling that the gunman had refluxes about. No good sign. Then Lupin decided to show off his collection and- how is that even possible to fit so many bows on a dog? "It's spite, Jigen dear."

* * *

Another day, another successful heist performed by Lupin the Third.

Another failed attempt of aresting the thief by Inspector Zenigata.

His hotel was unexpectedly, but reasonably quiet, seeing how young the night was and how many people were out partying 'till the sun'd come up. He gave a nod to the kid behind the desk, one that really wished she wasn't at her job at this time. Or at any time really.

He decided to take the stairs, as it would leave him with more room for thought. He, once again, hasn't brought Lupin to face justice and he, once again, got the beatings for it. Many chiefs had always told him the same thing. Over and over again like a broken record. The fact that they haven't taken him off Lupin's case was considered a miracle between his peers. Maybe they should have. He wouldn't have to deal with seeing that damn monkey mutt wherever something valuable was around.

He fished out the room key and opened the door, and his previous assumption was correct. The room felt colder than it probably should. Next thing that struck out to him was the lanky, irritably familiar figure sitting at his windowsill, one leg prepped against the wall. "Lupin. What are you doing here?" Zenigata asked, his vigour long lost and now replaced by stolidness.

"It's a nice night out, don't you think, Zenigata Pops?" The man ignored Zenigata's question and instead pointed with his free hand towards the illuminated signs all over the city, ultimately stopping at one, heart shaped one.

Zenigata eyed the sign curiously, leaning against the window frame. The hairy hand was showcasing him a rather flashy church. "You think that's where it all went down?" Lupin exhaled loudly before shaking his head, still smiling.

"Who knows?" He brought his hand back the the knee resting against the frame. "Maybe it never was real. Just a fake, photoshopped scandal." Lupin turned to Zenigata, eyes soft staring back into inspector's tense pair. Then he sat properly on the sill, back turned towards the city lights. "Say, how about we get married? Actual us. No disguises, no faking this time around."

"Get your head outta the gutter, I'm a police officer and you're an international thief. And have you forgotten? The previous few days were revolving around us being married!" Zenigata exclaimed, crossing his arms. In exchange the thief lowered his shoulders, deflated but still smiling. He stared at space between the floor and Zenigata. "Besides, the Lupin I know would never tie the knot for longer than few months!"

Lupin smiled. "Your words back then got me thinking." He started. "First off, I can't say I didn't put you through different situations just for shit and giggles but," He stopped, shrugging, his hands finding their place in his pockets. "I do care about you, Pops. Second off, I guess we aren't too different." Zenigata raised a brow. "I love you too."

Zenigata's shoulders stiffened. "I would."

"Huh?" Lupin stared at the inspector with raised brows.

"I said," Zenigata looked off to the side before meeting the thief's eyes once again. "I would marry you. A-Arsené." Zenigata exclaimed hesitately, the name alone feeling almost alien on his tongue.

There was some unknown to Zenigata spark behind Lupin's eyes, almost invisible thanks to Vegas neon pink atmosphere. 

Pink wasn't the only color that danced on Lupin's face. The orange illuminated him from the back, occasionally sparking with yellow undertones. Blue was harder to notice, as its source was more distant. Same with the mint green on his hair. Then there was the slight redness of Lupin's cheeks. Those weren't lights, he's soon enough realized. Zenigata gulped.

Lupin smiled. Embarrassed. Him. _Embarrassed._

Then the thief began laughing on top of his lungs. "What's so funny about that?!"

But all Lupin did to clear his confusion was flash him his trademark smile. "Say, _Koichi dear,"_ He got up from the windowsill and locked his fingers with Zenigata. "How about I steal you for the night?"

Zenigata's heart raced, but he nodded and soon found himself dragged away from his hotel and into the hot Vegas atmosphere. After all, one night spend with one's mortal enemy couldn't hurt anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever make a mistake while writing something, make it relevant to the plot later on, trust me it's fun.  
> Also this was one hell of a rollercoster, both fun and really hard at times. Thanks to this I realized I'm not the best at writing action, so now I know what I gotta improve!  
> Anyhow, thank you all for reading this, it means so much to me :'¬)


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